Don't Hold What's Theirs

In addition to Verbal Jujitsu being a very effective means of dealing with conflict, it also communicates to the child in a way that supports the kind of healthy thinking we want him to develop and use.

Most children with behavior problems have developed a pattern of externalizing their problems and difficulties. Whatever goes wrong is blamed on the adults around them. Remember that while externalizing is a natural and healthy survival tool for an infant, a child should shift from externalizing to internalizing many difficulties as he moves into interdependence.